If this were a cooking blog

Forget longevity—

this is a heart attack.

Forget fidelity—

excommunication appropriate

with meat served

on a Friday in Lent.

And then the pork taboo

for my Muslim and Jewish

friends. Well…

Love yeah brothers.

Oh, but is it good.

Render three strips of thick

cut bacon

and then mix three

eggs into the rendered fat.

Add tomatoes,

green onions,


siracya sauce,

a dash of garlic powder,

salt and pepper,

and sprinkle till

your heart’s content

with mozzarella cheese.

While Buckingham Palace

has yet to announce the contest,

I hereby submit this recipe

as the first submission—

A Fox Hunting Breakfast

for King Charles the Third’s

Coronation Breakfast Competition.

If that does not work,

I’m considering offering it

as the last meal for a few

deserving politicians

that are screwing with our world.


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